Just thinking about my attitude has brought about a cascade of thoughts. As I ponder and struggle to process the events of the past months, I find myself wishing for the impossible.

Kellock, my foster sister, this East India born, feisty, petite, fire-ball of faith has gone on to be with the Lord, after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer. Thank you for the words of comfort you have spoken and sent! Kellock was a person that could share her faith more naturally than any person I have ever seen. Her obituary contained these words:


This may sound strange but I don't wish she were still living! I would not deny her the pleasure of going on to taste eternity, you see, for her, to die was gain! I wish I could be with my family in Montana for a special time of remembrance on the Ridge by Bozeman this weekend and in Calgary, Canada for Kellock's memorial service. But I can't. But there are some lessons I have learned along the way.

Prompted by my sister Mindy and God's Spirit, I am so thankful to have been sitting beside Kellock on her bed on September 7. As we spent the better part of three days together she shared several life lessons with me that I would like to pass on:
Kellock said: "When you talk to your congregation tell them, 'Don't take things for granted!'" That is great advice! Be fully present everyday of your life! Be thankful!

When asked, "What is the greatest lesson you have learned from this illness?" She said, "It will not beat me! God is in control!" And then she said with a smile, "You know, I am not afraid to die!" And she pointed to her well-worn copy of "My Utmost for His Highest" (Oswald Chambers) and asked me to read August 13 and 14. Picture this. I am sitting beside a woman who has wasted away to 60 lbs., we have just sung "It is well with my soul" together and tears form as I read aloud, "Suppose God brings you to a crisis and you almost endure it, but not completely. He will engineer the crisis again, but this time some of the intensity will be lost....But if you will go on through the crisis, your life will become a hymn of praise to God. Never become attached to anything that continues to hurt God. For you to be free of it, God must be allowed to hurt whatever it may be."

Lord, may I continue learn the lessons I am to learn as I receive your grace and comfort in the midst of the pain and confusion of every day. My only Hope is You!

- In His grace, Mark

There are a few things worse than a bed that provides misery instead of rest, frustration rather than peace and comfort. Recently, my son Chet experienced this, and we experimentally traded mattresses with him from our spare bedroom.

I was reminded of a passage in Isaiah 28 which I read when we were studying the gospel in the Old Testament from Bill Grasham's earlier class. In this chapter, Isaiah is pronouncing many woes against God's wayward people. He emphatically pronounces woes to the proud, the rich (v. 1), the drunkards (v. 7), and those who trust worldly wisdom (v. 9). Then the conclusion is drawn with regard to such people in verse 20:


One would spend a miserable night indeed in trying to sleep under these conditions, and here is the point he is trying to make. Those who trust in, and live for, the wrong things are doomed to a life of misery and unrest. Why? Because these things are like "a bed too short and a blanket too narrow." They may offer a promise of rest, peace, and satisfaction. But their promise is empty, and there is no fulfillment.

Isaiah was writing to those who sought rest, but in the wrong place. They searched for happiness, but in the wrong activities. They searched for knowledge, but at the wrong source. And they tried to find meaning and purpose to life, but they looked to the world instead of to God.

And so do many people today.

- In His Service, Jim

I saw a story on television not long ago about a woman who had lost her former husband and daughter to a drunk driver. It told how the woman responsible for the accident had been forgiven by the mother and wife of those she had killed. It went on to tell how this mother had visited the woman while she was in prison and how she became instrumental in helping her recover from her addiction to alcohol. When I saw that story I thought to myself, "Where does the strength to do that come from?" (Keep reading for the answer!)

When I look at some of the statements related to forgiveness made by Biblical characters, I find myself pondering that same question. For example:

Jesus on the cross - "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

Stephen as he is being stoned to death - "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7:60)

The apostle Paul while in prison - "At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them." (2 Timothy 4:16)

Where do you find the strength to love so powerfully that you can offer what seems to be impossible? I believe the answer is found in understanding how much you are loved by God and by trusting that He can do more in you and through you than you could ever imagine.

That's why it didn't surprise me when the story on television talked about the church and Bible study group that the mother attended. She talked about her faith and how God, as well as her church family, compelled her to reach out and do what seemed impossible. Don't you love stories like this? It's what God can do when our eyes are on Him! To Him be all glory in the church and in the Lord Jesus Christ!

Love, Rod

Forgiveness - easy enough, one might think; "just do it". Well what if you had sent your little girl off to school one morning and she didn't return home; not because she was naughty and ran away but because some deranged man (you would have to be somewhat deranged to do this) burst into her schoolroom and slaughtered her like an animal. Now, how easy would it be to forgive THAT?

Well, that is exactly what happened this past week. In the aftermath of the horrific murder of these little Amish girls, the Amish community came together and forgave the man who committed this awful crime. As you may know by now, the Amish reached out to the family of the murderer and offered comfort to them.

I heard a man interviewed who has studied and written extensively on Amish life. He said that their mantra is to "forgive, forget and move on". Easy enough if someone knocks your mailbox off its post with a pumpkin (as someone did mine the other day; I must confess that I was not too forgiving for a few hours). You repair it and "move on". But murdering my little girl? Well, that just isn't a level playing field compared to a mailbox.

We all probably know that anger, resentment and lack of forgiveness hurts the person who feels they have been wronged much more than the person we're angry at. Yet forgiveness is not easy. We live in a society where we expect "wrongs" to be "righted" - perhaps people always have.

The man interviewed said the Amish base their belief on Jesus' actions on the cross and the "70 times 7" quote by Jesus on forgiveness. Still, living it out is not easy, especially by these Amish who have suffered such a tremendous loss.

How does one get to the point that he can forgive someone in this situation? I suspect that it comes from forgiving each other in the little ways as we live together in our families, our places of work and our spiritual relationships. Large battles usually are won by softening up the enemy positions in advance by smaller bombardments. Only later can the larger and more difficult battle be won.

- Layton